me, thinking out loud…

Lost Control??

Caution: This post is just some arbit crap, that arose from some internal probing. Its utterly worthless for any reader other than myself. This could possibly even be classified narcissistic or whatever that’s called.

Presently, I’ve got tests going on and they are half way through. Considering this and the fact that its been over a month since I last posted, writing a post now doesn’t make much sense, does it?[If my blog’s been dormant so long, can’t it be so for a couple of days more?] But things I’ve been up to off-late, don’t make much sense. [in the past, at least they made sense to me if not to others.] This post is just about that, going from being senseless to at least being less sense [and hopefully, to being sensible]

I’ve screwed up the tests so far, and don’t think will be doing much better in the others too. Even otherwise, I haven’t done anything good, anything that feels great, anything that feels right, in the past couple of months (years?? decades??) [except for one video with ‘the gang’, i didn’t contribute much though]. Let alone accomplishing something nice, I haven’t even been attempting anything decent enough. My priorities have gone haywire, or may be not, may be I’m just doing things that are very low on the scale or may be I’m not doing anything, things are just hapenning.

  • I’ve slept through ‘n’ classes both inside and outside the classroom
  • I’ve stayed awake all night downloading some crap for my comp.
  • I had been worrying about keeping my blog alive. Made numerous attempts to post something, even if its no big deal not posting regularly.
  • Changed 4 different OSes in a couple of days!
  • been ages since I last visited the Library.
  • Slept through the morning lotsa times, even if I enjoy EBER-ing
  • Bunked bathing just because i’ll have more clothes to wash!
  • ….
  • The list is pretty long. It ain’t sensible to be putting down the whole thing here.

I guess I’ve just been trying to escape things. Running from doing important stuff. I’ve had enough. Its high time I do something about it. I’ve decided to get in control of my life, rather than being controlled by arbit stuff like sleep, a blog, a grade, an addiction, a song, a cricket match, a rain, a meal, a game of carrom, a prof’s accent, a course, a test or other such trivialities.

I wish to get back on track!!
..to get back into the habit of doing things I love, at the time and place I like.
..to doing things that give me joy, in the true sense. Not momentary, passing pleasures.

Hopefully, with some effort, I will. (A nudge is all it takes.)

btw, if this post was a total bouncer, this is for you….

Time is the wisest Counselor. Exams come in a close second! — punchagan

Comments on: "Lost Control??" (3)

  1. well said bey.. ques put to all of us.. and optimism.. wonder how good it is.. yea jus a nudge!!.. good things in store!

  2. huh??
    wat ques?? never put any…

  3. punchagan said:

    A nice one…

    To follow the path:
    look to the master,
    follow the master,
    walk with the master,
    see through the master,
    become the master.

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